Aspiring writer Clint (Elijah Wood MANIAC) has left Brooklyn for the suburban splendour of his hometown Fort Chicken, Illinois and moved in with his mother with plans of completing his horror novel about a possessed boat. To make ends meet he takes a job as a substitute teacher at the local elementary school. The other teachers and faculty are a wacky lot. There's Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad SCREAM QUEENS) the right wing gun nut who bemoans Illinois' lack of concealed carry (since remedied), Rick (Jorge Garcia LOST) a crossing guard more interested in scoring dope than protecting the little ones, ex-jock Wade (Rainn Wilson SUPER) who is well past his glory days of high school football, Lucy (Alison Pill SNOWPIERCER), who Clint still pines for, and a slew of other wild and crazy characters who would be locked up instead of teaching kids if this was real life instead of a zom com.
Where does the zom, as in zombie, come in?
One of the tykes eats an infected chicken nugget. Harassed in class by a couple of bullies, the girl turns full on, fast moving zombie just in time to bite off a chunk of her tormentor's face. From there the infection quickly spreads from child to child. No longer hungry for nuggets the children turn to the adults. Trapped in the school our gang of plucky heroes must find a way to survive.
I was so looking forward to the hilarity of adults smacking around zombie children upon learning of this film. There is some of that, but I didn't find it laugh out loud funny like I did the baby scene in Peter Jackson's BRAINDDEAD (or do you say DEAD ALIVE?). The rest of the film is meh. COOTIES isn't a bad film, there are laughs to be had, but I was very under whelmed especially considering the talent involved.
** out of ****
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