Dir: Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett Sullivan
Christmas. Horror. Portmanteau. What's not to like?
Set in the fictional town of Bailey Downs on Christmas Eve, the updating of the anthology film weaves, often loosely, five tales together. The usual format for this type of film is to have a host introduce each tale and it plays out before moving onto the next story. A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY instead jumps from one story to another to another and back and forth; unravelling a little of the mysteries of each story at a time.
Local DJ Dangerous Dan (William Shatner giving a wonderful performance) acts a bit like a traditional anthology host as he not only sets the Christmas mood, provides levity as release from the horror of the other tales, but also is part of the final (and most effective) twist. As he get drunker and drunker on spiked egg nog, Christmas Eve in Bailey Downs gets darker and darker.
The scariest of the tales involves a group of teens breaking into a school that was the site of two horrific murders last year on Christmas Eve. The go-getters are digging into the grisly case as part of a school project. Upon hearing strange noises, they become worried that the killer may have returned. And the only door out of the windowless basement is locked from the outside.
Two of the stories deal with families confronted by horror. The first has dad dragging his selfish family on a road trip to his aunt's estate so that he can hit her up for some cash to keep his ponzi scheme of a company going for a little while longer. With the children acting like the brats they are and auntie wise to dad's scheme, they are sent packing. Only something is following them, something evil. The second family orientated tale is about dad (the police officer from the first tale who last year investigated the two murders at the school), mom and son trespassing on private property to cut down a Christmas tree. On the way back to the car, dad dragging their ill gotten tree behind him, the boy goes missing. After a frantic search they find the boy in the hollow of a tree. Only he doesn't seem quite right.
The goriest of the tales takes place at the North Pole. Santa and the elves are making last minute preparations for Santa's slayride around the world. Only the elves are a bit off. They sneeze, start swearing and keel over dead. But they don't stay dead, they resurrect as zombie elves. Zombie elves with a thirst for Santa's blood. Perplexed by the infection, Santa grabs his sceptre to do battle with the undead toy makers. Santa is a bad ass, hacking off arms, smashing in faces, decapitating heads all in an effort to save Christmas.
There's nothing as iconic as Joan Collins battling a crazed Santa in TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972) to be found here but overall the film is a decent bit of holiday cheer.
** 1/2 out of ****
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