News: Jeff Burr dead at 60 RIP

 From the Hollywood Reporter

 'Jeff Burr, the horror specialist who directed Vincent Price in one of his last movies and entries in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Puppet Master, Pumpkinhead and Stepfather franchises, has died. He was 60.'

I first heard the name Jeff Burr in the pages of Fangoria magazine when they covered his first feature film FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM. It took some time for me to see the film but I was impressed with it and the cast (the lovable Vincent Price headlining).

It was his third feature as director that really grabbed my attention upon seeing it on its initial theatrical run; LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III. It was a different beast from the first two CHAINSAW films and better for it. It was a lean, mean, killing machine that made for a 90 minute thrill ride.

Burr often directed films with a numeral in the title. But he managed to elevate what otherwise would have been a simple, quick cash in. He put his magical spin on it and made the franchise that much more special.

RIP Jeff Burr.

 

Film Review: Snow Beast (2011)

Snow Beast (2011)

Director: Brian Brough
Writer: Brittany Wiscombe

Crack animal research team comprised of Jim (John Schneider THE DUKES OF HAZARD), Rob (Paul D. Hunt) and Marci (Kari Hawker-Diaz) head to the wilds of Canada for their annual check up of the local lynx population. Jim's daughter Emmy (Danielle C. Ryan) is dragged along as well as some sort of punishment for getting into a fight at school. Little does our team know that the local yeti has eaten all the lynx and turned its attention to the biped buffet.

Sure, the DVD cover is poorly photoshopped and looks terrible and I should have known better than to buy it but I couldn't resist the allure of a snow beast attacking people. The second mistake I made was not looking at the MPAA rating. PG-13. PG-13? A modern day monster mayhem film and it's not rated R? That's two red flags I chose to ignore. I paid the price with 88 minutes of tedium.

The film might not have been so bad if it was less Dad and Daughter fighting and eventually reconciling like in a Lifetime film. I get that it's a low budget film with limited locations and so will be heavier on the talk and lighter on the action. At least make all the talk interesting for the audience. There's only so much teenage angst I'm willing to put up with. I've lived through those years and have seen it onscreen too many times to count. Put a new spin on the Dad / Daughter relationship.

Let's not get into the amount of runtime eaten up with watching people driving a truck or snowmobile.

Jason London (DAZED AND CONFUSED) puts in an appearance as Barry the Park Warden.

What about the snow beast action you ask. I liked the costume even though the actor in it obviously had trouble moving about while wearing it. The distributor, SunWorld Pictures, apparently liked the monster mask so much they slapped an image of it on the DVD cover. The filmmakers had no qualms about showing the beast early and often. That's the extent of the F/X praise I can give. It is a PG-13 film after all and the blood and gore F/X are kept to a minimum.

Horror fiends will not find much to keep their interest with the lack of thrills and gore. The average lifetime or Hallmark viewer will be put off by the ugly yeti mug on the cover. Is this film meant for John Schneider and Jason London fans? All others can skip it.


*1/2 out of ****

Film Review: The Invitation (2003)

The Invitation (2003)
Director: Pat Bermel
Writers: Pat Bermel, Neil Bermel

To avoid boredom keep repeating
It's not a horror movie
... not a horror movie
... not a horror movie

Wealthy writer Roland (Lance Henriksen) invites his closest friends to a dinner party held on his private island. During dinner he regales them with tales of his trip around the world seeking meaning to his life. Then he announces that he has poisoned each of them and in order to receive the antidote they must reveal the secret that haunts them. And that's how we get 85 minutes of people arguing and wailing about how they don't want to die or admit their mistakes.

The writers, brothers Pat and Neil, I'm sure thought their existential / metaphysical / whatever gobbledygook of an idea for a film high concept and hoped it would have opened the minds of viewers. Instead, it comes across as a school report written by a high schooler after discovering philosophy. However much I may or may not agree with the premise about forgiveness of oneself and shedding meaningless guilt it doesn't make for a good film. At least not in the case of THE INVITATION. It's no coincidence that the film is marketed as a horror film. At least with that label it'll trick a few punters into renting or buying it.

Legendary character actor Lance Henriksen gives a good performance and truly seems to be enjoying his role as man on the mountain but it's not enough to save this tedious exercise in self help.

*1/2 out of ****

Film Review: Shredder (2001)

Shredder (2001)
Director: Greg Huson
Writers: Greg Huson, Craig Donald Carlson


It's a battle royale of skiers v. snow boarders in this throw back to the slashers of the '80s.

All Cole (Scott Weinger FULL HOUSE) wanted to do was spend some time with his girlfriend Kim (Lindsey McKeon SAVED BY THE BELL: THE NEW CLASS) at the abandoned Rocky Summit ski resort. Instead he has to deal with Kim inviting their friends. Oh, and a killer skier driven to madness by a tragic event whispered about by the locals. It's a bad day to be a horny male on the slopes.

All the tropes of the slasher sub-genre are on display in SHREDDER. The opening prologue where an innocent is killed by the black clad killer. Red herrings galore. The local who warns the youngsters about meddling where they don't belong. On and on; we've seen them all before. The low budget and the inexperienced director detract from what little story there is courtesy of the writers. I swear that some of the characters were teleporting from location to location during the climax due to a lack of coverage. The acting is about what one would expect from this type of film with Juleah Weikel's spirited performance as the plucky heroine being the highlight.

 

Despite all the negatives the film almost works. I don't know why, I can't diagram or explain what works. But the elements work well enough together so that I wasn't bored by yet another stalk and slash film. Some gore F/X look good, others not so much. The comedy (this is a comedy / horror film, right?) doesn't stick the landing and yet I found myself liking the goofballs just a bit.

SHREDDER will be a pass for most viewers but I think there is an audience for this slightly off kilter slasher film.

** 1/2 out of ****

Film Review: Jackals (2017)

Jackals (2017)
Director: Kevin Greutert
Writer: Jared Rivet

The POV opening scene of a killer on the loose inside of a family dwelling will be recognizable to most horror fans. At one point the killer even dons an animal mask for the final kill of the prologue. That the next bit of the film involves a family staying at their cabin in the woods just adds to the feeling of seen this before. But JACKALS brings something a bit different that makes it a worthwhile watch.

Mom (Deborah Kara Unger), Dad (Johnathon Schaech), Brother (Nick Roux) and the girlfriend (Chelsea Ricketts) all have a surprise for Justin (Ben Sullivan). They've hired a cult deprogrammer (Stephen Dorff) to kidnap the young man, and secret him away at the remote family cabin so that the family and hired gun can break him free of the cult. The cultists though miss their new spiritual brother and lay siege to the cabin. They will not leave without him.

Director Kevin Greutert of SAW franchise fame crafts a solid film from writer Jared Rivet's script. Yes, a similar scenario can be found done better in films like Adam Wingard's YOU'RE NEXT or Sam Peckinpah's STRAW DOGS or the French ILS but the angle of trying to deprogram a cult member adds a bit of spice missing from many family trapped in a house under siege films. The tropes are here, they are just shot a bit better, the acting is a bit more believable and the characters doing a few stupid things a bit more forgivable.

*** out of ****

Film Review: Dystopia (2018)

Dystopia (2018)
aka: Mad World
Director: Paul Tanter
Writer: Paul Robert Lingas

I couldn't do it. The strength to go on and see the film to the end by fast forwarding wasn't in me. After about twenty minutes I gave up watching DYSTOPIA. The DVD went back into its case never to be watched by my eyes again.

The film opens with narration and clips from this film, and what looks to be the television series, in a desperate attempt to engage the viewer. If you've seen the trailer it is more or less repeated here. In the year 2037 all women are infertile due to Biocorp tampering with nature. Not resting on their laurels the conglomerate takes control of the government. A band of plucky rebels accidentally create a time travel machine (!) and use the machine disguised as a tanning bed to travel to the year 2017. Why 2017? I don't know and I'm not sure if the filmmakers know either. Anyway, the rebels send back two men to find a way to stop Biocorp and save the future world.

The first man (Simon Phillips AGE OF THE LIVING DEAD) wants to kill every Biocorp employee in order to prevent future events. He sets on his mission by kidnapping an employee and forcing her to give him a list of everyone on the payroll. How he is planning on traveling the world and killing tens of thousands of people isn't explained. It's not explained either how killing some poor schmuck who works in the art department or janitorial services is necessary. The other guy (Michael Copon 247°F) thinks it is a bad plan and complains that a different path must be taken. He complains a lot. This is after they've somehow killed thousands of employees already. And if I'm not mistaken babies are on the hit list. Because they will grow up to be employees or something.

The film is confusing and tiring with a trailer that has scenes that aren't in the film.

Who is Michael Madsen portraying in the film? He sits around drinking in various locales shouting orders but I couldn't figure out who his character is.

Skip it.

1/2 * out of ****

Film Review: Neon City (1991)

Neon City (1991)
Director: Monte Markham
Writers: Jeff Begun, Ann Lewis Hamilton (as Buck Finch), Monte Markham

'It's a Mad Max rip-off!'
'No, it's an homage to classic westerns like Stagecoach!'
'Mad Max!'
'Stagecoach!'
'It's two great genres in one - It's Neon City!'

In the not too distant future, 2053 to be precise, the earth has been devastated by a man made ecological disaster. Those without prestige and money live in the outlands, the lawless impoverished areas outside the cities. The lucky ones with money live in big cities like Neon City.

Harry Stark (Michael Ironside), bad ass bounty hunter who roams the outlands instead of the comparative luxury of cities, is roped into taking the next bus to Neon City. His plan is to turn over wanted criminal Reno (Vanity) upon arrival. The Man wants Stark to protect naive rich girl Twink (Juliet Landau ED WOOD) on the journey to the big city. Along for the ride are a band of passengers including a stand up comic with more than jokes in his luggage (Richard Sanders of WKRP fame), Stark's ex-wife (Valerie Wildman), Bulk (Lyle Alzado DESTROYER) the driver, an older man who keeps to himself (Arsenio 'Sonny' Trinidad) and a psychotic serial killer posing as a doctor (Nick Klar). The path is fraught with danger, radiation storms, mutant raiders and the secrets the passengers keep.

 

NEON CITY is a Canadian post apocalypse film heavily indebted to MAD MAX 2 and the sub-genre that sprung up around its success and John Ford's classic western STAGECOACH. We have the motorcycle riding raiders attacking the passenger bus as it makes its way across the desolate land (MAD MAX) and the passenger conflicts arising from the pressure of being in a small space while man and nature tries to kill them (STAGECOACH). It isn't nearly as good as either. However, there is a certain charm to the film that raises it above the usual cheap knock-off and makes for an entertaining watch. Neither stars Ironside or Vanity are regaling us with Shakespeare but both are fun to watch bad assess with just enough character backstory to keep the viewer engrossed between action set pieces. Which is a plus considering most of the action scenes are middling.

NEON CITY isn't bad enough to be a so bad it's good film. It isn't good enough to be a good film either. Instead it haunts that area of our mind that enjoys the guilty pleasure. We see the faults but can't help to look past them to find the fun and magic in watching a genre film.

The director, also a prolific character actor, plays the role of Captain Raymond.

Filmed in Utah.

**1/2 out of ****

Board Game Review: The Walking Dead: Don't Look Back Dice Game (2014)

Designer: Matt Hyra

I like THE WALKING DEAD universe. The comics, the novels and the television series. Even Season 2. What I haven't found yet is a good board game based on the intellectual property.

After playing Cryptozoic Entertainment's THE WALKING DEAD: DON'T LOOK BACK DICE GAME, I'm still looking for a fun, entertaining game based on the property.

The game is for one to four players who take on the role of one of the television series protagonists; Rick, Michonne, Daryl or Carl. Fans of the show may wonder why only four character choices and why fan favourites are missing. I wonder the same thing. Which character is picked to play doesn't matter much as they only differ in their special ability. The object of the game is to score more points than anyone else in the allotted time, marked by how many locations are to be used. Points are scored by killing zombies (walkers in the parlance of the series) and by being the first one to exit the location. It's a very simple scoring mechanism. Kill a walker get one point.

Components

Inexpensive is the best way to describe the board, cards and character standees that come in the game. Even the dice aren't that great. Much of the art work are screen captures of the television series. The character cards and standees are a head shot of the actors in character dress. Walker tokens, cardboard tokens not miniatures, are a poorly rendered medium shot of a group of walkers. The cardboard board that is the game board is original art and all that is are six numbered blood splatters on top of what I think is supposed to be a grassy field.

Don't expect much from the cardboard and plastic that make up the game's components.

Rules

Rules consist of sixteen pages (the last page being credits) in a fold out mini booklet. They are easy to follow with ample illustrations and examples of play. At times the rules are a bit verbose but that is understandable as the game's target audience is a mass market one.

The game is simple. Draw a search card. If it is a weapon put it in your hand otherwise follow the instructions on the card. Next your character can pass, move, or kill walkers. Movement is moving to an adjacent space or the one named location on the board. To kill walkers roll a number of six sided dice matching the weapon rating. If attacking a numbered space you want as many multiples of the same number with each one counting as a hit. For example, if Rick attacks with an improvised weapon he rolls three dice. Pick one number and the number of times you rolled that number is the number of walkers killed. If attacking a location you want to roll a straight. Roll 2 - 3 - 6 that's two walkers killed as there are two dice making up the straight. There are additional rules to press your luck when making an attack. The last segment of the player's turn is moving walkers into the location and taking hits from walkers. Take hits equal to your health your character dies and you are out of the game.

 

There is a lot of dice rolling in the game. The meat of the game is drawing a card and chucking dice. The only strategy is picking which weapon to use and if you want to re-roll attack dice which could lead to failure. Otherwise, you are waiting for someone to draw the exit card from the search deck so you can move to the next location and get the game over with.

Player interaction is almost non-existent. There is no reason to co-operate with other players as there can be only one winner so you won't gain anything by it. From time to time someone will pull a card from the search deck that allows them to steal a card from another player. If you have the knife as a weapon you can stab another player. If someone has more points than you, instead of killing walkers and gaining points you can attack another player with the knife in hopes of knocking them out of the game. However, dead players can still win the game if they have more points than all other players so I'm not seeing the point of attacking other players.

 

Is it fun?

No. Little player interaction, throwing dice over and over at the same enemy turn after turn combined with next to no player agency leads to a dull game.

Film Review: Zombiethon (1986)

Zombiethon (1986)
Dir: Ken Dixon

Wizard Video, a video distribution company created by ballyhoo expert Charles Band, in an effort to sell more product created ZOMBIETHON. Director Ken Dixon shot scenes as a wrap around to each of the previews of the included films released by Wizard Video. The end result is 70 odd minutes of pointless new scenes tacked onto the 'highlights' of grade Z productions.

The idea of cheaply producing new product while promoting current releases wasn't anything new to Band. Wizard had previously released the clip tapes FAMOUS T&A (under the Cult Video moniker) and THE BEST OF SEX AND VIOLENCE. Instead of a host such as Sybil Danning or John Carradine introducing the clips we get odd arty / comedic vignettes of women being attack by creatures who run into a theatre and watch the previews. Other than padding the run time I really don't know what a scene with a woman walking through a garden who is chased by a monster has to do with Lucio Fulci's ZOMBIE. But here we have the former introducing the latter.

The films previewed will be well known to fans of horror who grew up in the age of VHS. We've all seen the boxes sitting on the shelves of a video shop enticing us with their art work. Their names sounded like they'd make for a kick ass watch, including ZOMBIE, ZOMBIE LAKE, OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES and FEAR, but more often than not led to a very disappointing watch.

 

This compilation is just as disappointing. The previews are sloppily edited together to eke out titillation with the full frontal nudity and crude gore. I was bored with most of the films when I watched them back in the '80s and I'm just as bored with watching clips from them today. There's no nostalgia to be found here for me.

New horror fans who haven't seen these films might find something of interest but more than likely they'd be switching the stream to something else.

* out of ****

Film Review: The Day (2011)

The Day (2011)
Director: Douglas Aarniokoski
Writer: Luke Passmore

Five out of twelve remain. Five survivors scavenging for food after an unknown or unstated apocalypse has devastated North America, perhaps the world. Crops no longer grow. Animals are all gone. Canned goods are a precious commodity. Many have turned to cannibalism. But not our group.

Led by Rick (Dominic Monaghan who also produces) the loose knit survivors stumble across an old farmhouse on their way to an ill defined place of shelter. What starts out as a roof over their heads for the night turns into a nightmare as they come to the realization the house is a trap set up by a band of cannibals. Low on ammo the survivors are forced to fight a fate worse than death.

Humans resorting to cannibalism in times of desperation isn't a new theme. Off hand I can think of the television series THE WALKING DEAD, the film THE SEVERED ARM along with a number of films based on the misdeeds of Alfred Packer touching upon or embracing the eating of long pork. The film seems to have drawn inspiration from Cormac McCarthy's novel THE ROAD and the film of the same name. The dystopian worlds in each have much in common. A world dying due to unstated reasons populated by those that have turned to eating human flesh and those that have not. THE DAY doesn't muster the same intensity but it does succeed enough to recommend it.

The acting is solid with Dominic Monaghan rising above the rest. The film is low budget with most scenes taking place on a road or in the farmhouse or its surroundings but the cinematographer sells the bleakness with washed out colours. The crew hammers home the dread by making the farmhouse look weather beaten and abandoned.

That's the difference between THE DAY and countless other post apocalypse films. The actors and crew do a great job selling the world and making it believable. The viewer has seen this film under different names with a different cast umpteenth times but here we take an interest in what happens. We know it's not going to end well but we still root for the good guys.

*** out of ****