Sven Hassel's Wheels Of Terror (1987)

aka: The Misfit Brigade
Dir: Gordon Hessler

Cpl Porta looking very refined

The German 27th Panzer is a penal brigade made up of murderers, thieves, sister fuckers and other detritus willing to swap prison for the Eastern front. They don't fight for Hitler or an ideology, they fight to survive. The company of battle weary drunkards is portrayed by Bruce (WILLARD) Davison, D.W. (FALLING DOWN) Moffett, David Patrick (THE WARRIORS) Kelly, Slavko (CROSS OF IRON) Stimac, and Jay O. (THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW) Sanders with Yugoslavian actors filling out the remainder of the crews.

The film is more episodic than driven by a specific plot thread. The soldiers get drunk and get into a fight. They get drunk, visit a brothel and get into a fight. At mess they get into a fight. It's not until crazed Cpl. Porta (Davison) challenges Col. Von Weisshagen while on guard duty and places him under arrest for not providing a password that the company is given a mission. They are to travel deep behind enemy lines and blow up a train. In exchange for completing the suicidal task the Col. promises to transfer the 'volunteers' to some part of the war safer than the Eastern front. They don't trust the Col. but the horror of the Eastern front has nearly crushed their souls so they see little other option than to accept the mission and the glimmer of hope of leaving the meat grinder behind.

The film's title comes from the second of fourteen books that Danish born Sven Hassel wrote about WWII. Hassel left Denmark for Germany and joined the army shortly before war broke out. His novels recount his experiences during the war but I'm not sure how much poetic license he applied in telling the dark and darkly comedic tale of the penal brigade. As I have read and immensely enjoyed a couple of the novels and with a screenplay written by Nelson Gidding (THE HAUNTING) and the film directed by Gordon Hessler (who did everything from working with Alfred Hitchcock to directing Kiss to helming the LITTLE WOMEN mini series) I was really looking forward to the film. Throw in David Carradine and Oliver Reed and this should have been a winning combination. Carradine is only in the film for a few scenes and Reed doesn't show up until the very end. The tank battles aren't very exciting and a bit confusing as to which tank is where. Only the character of Porta feels fleshed out but Tiny (Sanders) a dim witted demolition school drop out hulking brute makes an impression.

There's enough in the film to recommend it to war fans but I'd like someone to take another crack at bringing Hassel's vision to the screen. In the mean time I'll stick with the similar but far superior CROSS OF IRON.

**1/2 out of ****