Satanic Panic (2019)

Satanic Panic (2019)

Director: Chelsea Stardust
Writer: Grady Hendrix
Story by:Ted Geoghegan

Danica (Rebecca Romijn from Marvel's X-MEN franchise) is having a bad day. Being a high priestess of Satan in order to maintain a wealthy lifestyle is demanding work. Especially when the worms that comprise the coven, led by Gypsy (Arden Myrin MADtv), look to overthrow her rule at every turn. Even worse, they don't have a virgin to use in their ritual to Baphomet. What's a girl to do?

Enter naive pizza delivery person Sam (Hayley Griffith THEY/THEM). It's her first day on the job and she's been stiffed on all her runs. Broke and angry, she can't take anymore when she's stiffed yet again while delivering to a posh mansion in the affluent Mill Basin suburb. She enters the lavishly decorated house looking for a tip when she stumbles across Danica and the coven dressed in their best Satanic regalia. Oh, it just so happens that Sam is a virgin.

In this horror / comedy Sam spends the majority of the running time evading not only the coven members but also countering their spells and incantations. Along the way she meets with Danica's husband, played by Jerry O'Connell (real life wife and husband), who is in the film just long enough to take his shirt off. She teams up with their daughter Judi (Ruby Modine HAPPY DEATH DAY) who has grown tired of the Satanic lifestyle. Look for Jeff Daniel Phillips (THE MUNSTERS) and Jordan Ladd (CABIN FEVER) as coven members. AJ Bowen (YOU'RE NEXT) portrays one of Sam's co-workers at the pizza joint.

First time feature director Chelsea Stardust competently handles things, especially considering the low budget. While not particularly scary or tension filled the practical FX will appease gore hounds and keep them watching. The humour, not laugh out funny, keeps things light and maintains the brisk pace of an 85 minute long film.

SATANIC PANIC is an enjoyable diversion for genre fans.

 

The slip case drops Satanic from the title

**1/2 out of ****