Camp Dread (2014)

Dir: B. Harrison Smith

Way back in the 80's, director Julian Barrett (cable favourite Eric Roberts) kicked off Summer Camp which became a successful slasher franchise. The films starred scream queen Rachel Steele (Felissa Rose SLEEPAWAY CAMP) and John Hill (Brian Gallagher ZOMBIE KILLERS) as the killer. Nowadays, Barrett is not doing all that well. Mostly because he's a jerk. After living life as a has been for years, Barrett has a new plan to make some cash and propel himself into the limelight once more. Concocting a way too complicated scheme, he is gong to film a reality TV series called Dead.TV which brings together a group of young troubled adults to act out a fantasy slasher game played at the very same campground where the Summer Camp series was filmed, in order to have his reboot of Summer Camp green lighted. The real is put into reality when the fantasy stops and someone starts killing the pretend campers one by one.

Reality TV tryouts

Barrett brings back Steele, now a counselor, to monitor the mental health of those playing campers. The campers are made up of all the expected stereotypes. There's the hothead who constantly threatens to kill everyone, the horny woman, the emo, the athlete, the joker and so on.

Sheriff Donlyn and Barrett meet over coffee

None of the campers are likeable and are relegated to serving up beefcake and cheesecake and being dispatched by decent practical FX. Viewers that manage to make it through to the end will be treated to an amputee beaten to death with his own prosthetic leg, drain cleaner down the ole gullet, a poisoned sandwich (!), an arrow through the eye, impalement on a machete and death by decapitated head. That's right, one of the campers is killed by a decapitated head hurled at them with great force.

The pacing of the film is glacial. As soon as the montage of the campers playing football, swimming in the lake and doing whatever else one does in a montage started, I was hitting the fast forward button. The editing is often awful, such as the cut to a character who has no lines and is never seen again standing around outside while two people inside a restaurant talk over coffee. Add in inexperienced actors who haven't yet worked out interacting with other actors so a scene flows smoothly and most scenes just drag on.

Fan fave Danielle Harris, despite being prominently featured on the film's artwork and in the credits, is in the film for only a few minutes; not much more than a cameo.

CAMP DREAD is a throwback to the 80's slasher, only the worst of the lot.

* out of ****

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31 (2016)

Dir: Rob Zombie

I'll get this out of the way, I like Rob Zombie's creative output. Whether it's his music or films. I own most of the White Zombie and his solo catalog on CD. Sitting in my film collection are HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES and THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. While I think that a remake of HALLOWEEN was completely unnecessary, I did enjoy the two films Zombie made about the unstoppable force that is Michael Meyers.

31 is a crowd funded film, handled through the web site Fanbacked. Why Zombie chose to go the route of asking his fans for funds is lost on me especially considering the end product. More on that in a moment. Maybe I was out of the loop but looking back I'd have expected to have heard more about the campaign. It wasn't until I saw the film as an upcoming release in my Netflix queue that I knew 31 was in the can and being released.

Halloween, 1976. A group of carnival workers is traveling down a dusty highway in a class C motorhome to their next gig. Trading barbs, jive talking, cracking wise and coming up with the next great carny con are all the ways screenwriter Zombie tries to flesh out the characters prior to the inevitable meeting with evil face to face and being murdered one by one. The carnies are ambushed on the road and those that survive the encounter are taken to an abandoned industrial park. There they are given a number and instructed on how to play the game 31. A game where they must survive being stalked by 'heads'. Heads are a motley group of clown garb wearing maniacs out for blood. Overseeing the madness is Father Napoleon Horatio Silas Murder (!) and his two companions Sister Serpent and Sister Dragon who bet amongst themselves on who will survive. Curiously, the three are dressed up like they wandered over from the set of a PBS show about pre-revolution French royalty.

The film boils down to the good guys running around darkened corridors with leaking pipes. Over and over we watch the dwindling group run here and there (and yes, they do split up from one another) trying to escape the heads.

The film was crowd funded so that we could have yet another film with human monsters chasing people? I was expecting a film unique enough, different enough and so far out there that no studio would fund it and that's why Zombie turned to his fans for help. Instead I watched a film with the same plot, the same scares, and the same twists as scores of slashers I've seen since I started watching slashers some thirty odd years ago. Was Zombie's point in making a film homage to the genre to make it indistinguishable from the hundreds of films that make up the genre? If so, Zombie is far more cunning than I. I just didn't get it.

There are a couple of things I like about 31.

The gore. There's plenty of it. Zombie does not skimp on the practical FX.

The cast. I got a kick out of who Zombie cast in the film. Call me old, or blinded by nostalgia but I really like spotting actors that I grew up watching in a Zombie film. 31 features Malcolm McDowell, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (if you haven't seen COOLEY HIGH remedy it immediately), Judy Geeson, Elizabeth Daily (looking just as hot as she did in VALLEY GIRL), Tracey Walter and Ginger Lynn. The stand out performer is Meg Foster. She looks and acts like a bad ass mama grizzly and I was rooting for her the entire time.

31 is passable, not a bad way to spend with a few beers.

** out of ****


Official site
31 on Fanbacked

Dead in 3 Days (2006)

aka: In 3 Tagen bist du tot
Dir: Andreas Prochaska

An Austrian slasher? I was curious as well. But you can skip this tired, rehash of far more interesting slashers.

A tight knit group of teens living in Ebensce Austria has just graduated from high school. Martin (Laurence Rupp) likes poetry and dates Nina (Sabrina Reiter ONE WAY TRIP). Fish monger Clemens (Michael Steinocher) is sweet on Alex (Nadja Vogel). Mona (Julia Rosa Stöckl) is all on her own. Each of them receives an anonymous text message stating that they will die in three days. They don't think much of the message, at first dismissing it as a prank, until their numbers start dwindling.

Spoilers!

They all have a secret! As children, while playing ice hockey they fled the scene when one of their friends broke through the ice and drowned. The boy's distraught father hanged himself. The mother has other ideas. She's out for revenge. Does the idea of a serial killer mother who lost her only child to drowning due to the neglect of others sound familiar to anyone?

The haggard plot doesn't have the inspired gory kills that made many of the American slashers fun to watch to prop itself up and the oft dimwitted characters don't help (let's leave our police protected home and go see if the killer is living in an abandoned house!). Skip this one and instead see the same year's COLD PREY for how a revamp of the slasher should be done.

A sequel was released in 2008.

*1/2 out of ****

Hospital Massacre (1981)

aka: X-RAY
Dir: Boaz Davidson

80's slasher film making 101.

Prologue that takes place in the past and sets the motivation for the serial killer.

The making of a slasher

It's 1961, Valentine's Day and little Suzy receives a hand delivered card from creepy Harold. Seeing that Suzy's playmate crumpled up the cared, Harold breaks into the house and kills Suzy's friend. A slasher fiend is born.

Cut to the present day.

Hubba Hubba

Nineteen years after the tragic murder, Susan (the gorgeous Barbi Benton) has split from her jerk of a husband Tom (Jimmy Stathis THE BLACK ROOM) and has a new man in her life. Needing to pick up the results from a routine medical check up she's dropped off at the hospital by her beau.

Put the heroine in danger and kill off characters who, incredibly, aren't missed.

There's a killer on the loose in the hospital. He's set up shop on the 9th floor of the hospital as it is closed off due to needing a good fumigation (!). At all times the killer stalks the halls dressed in surgical gear so that his identity remains a mystery. The dastardly killer has concocted an elaborate plot to keep Susan in the hospital for as long as possible. He kills her regular doctor and replaces her x-rays with those from a terminal case. Dr. Saxon (John Warner Williams BLACK MAGIC WOMAN) steps in for the missing doctor and forces Susan to spend the night at the hospital to allow for additional testing to be done.

Red herrings, lots of them.

Save her new beau, all the men act like sex crazed maniacs in the presence of Susan. A janitor ogles her intently when she checks in. Dr. Saxon performs on her what must be one of the most humiliating exams ever. Without explanation he intimidates her into stripping and feels her up. Susan is placed in a room with three older woman who like to go for long walks on the 9th floor and one of the women is obviously a man in drag (none of the characters makes mention of it). Her ex-husband, who is supposed to be watching their daughter, is not around when Susan phones him to let him know she'll be staying longer at the hospital than expected.

The final fight between killer and heroine

By the time the killer's identity is revealed and he's in full on slasher mode I had long given up caring what happened to who. Yes, even with improbable odds Susan manages to take out her stalker. The end.

Distributed by Cannon and directed by Boaz Davidson (LEMON POPSICLE), HOSPITAL MASSACRE is yet another cheap film looking to cash in on the then current slasher craze. It's dull, tedious and Barbi Benton is the only reason to bother watching it.

* out of ****

Terror At Tenkiller (1987)

Dir: Ken Meyer

TERROR AT TENKILLER is a late entry to the slasher sub-genre. After seeing the film I wish it had never shown up!

College friends Leslie (Stacy Logan) and Janna (Michelle Merchant) travel to Janna's childhood stomping grounds in Eastern Oklahoma, Lake Tenkiller, during the summer break. The plan is to stay at Janna's family cabin on the lake, earn bread by waitressing at the local diner The Cove and for Leslie to get over her breakup with her verbally abusive boyfriend Josh (Kevin Meyer).

The dramatic lighting really sets the mood

Les and Janna talk a lot. During the car trip. At the restaurant. Inside the cabin. On the dock next to the cabin. A lot of talking.

Les & Janna having a chat in the bathroom

Les & Janna talking in their dorm room

Les & Janna chit chatting in the car

Les & Janna dishing at the diner

Then they meet the hunky Tor (Michael Shamus Wiles BREAKING BAD) while getting the family boat out of storage. He's dreamy. Trouble is he's also a psychotic killer who offed his girlfriend in the opening scene. And then another woman he followed to her home. How does the viewer know it is Tor? Because the film makers don't bother hiding the identity. But we are stilled barraged with a boat load of red herrings. Tor does what a Tor does and hangs around the cabin watching the women until it is time to go after them.

Poorly shot, scenes at night are too dark and it is often difficult to make out what is happening, tepid in the blood and gore department, an annoying synth score that tries to emulate John Carpenter, and worst of all boring. TERROR AT TENKILLER is not worth a visit.

 

Les & Janna getting some sun, pontificating

Les & Janna catch up before bed

 

* out of ****

See No Evil 2 (2014)

Dir: Jen Soska, Sylvia Soska

As I liked the darkly quirky AMERICAN MARY, directed by the Soska sisters and starring Katherine Isabelle (GINGER SNAPS), I was intrigued upon learning that the Soskas' would be directing the sequel to WWE's 2006 slasher SEE NO EVIL. Having not seen the original I had to watch that first in case any important plot points carried over to the sequel (flashbacks to the original provide all the narrative carry over required from the original). The viewing left me wondering why anyone was creating a follow-up to a mediocre film from eight years ago.

The sequel picks up right where the first left off. The police are on the scene at the Blackwell hotel investigating the carnage and uncovering body after body stashed away by serial killer / hand of God Jacob Goodnight (WWE wrestler / fuckin' tall drink of water Glenn 'Kane' Jacobs returning to the role). A number of the dead, including no doubt about it he's dead, Jacob are taken to the city morgue.

Working at the morgue are med school drop out Amy (Daniel 'Is she officially a Scream Queen?' Harris), the secretly pining for Amy Seth (Kaj-Erik Eriksen) and the wheel chair bound Holden (Michael Eklund). Amy's shift is over and she's about to leave to meet up with friends to celebrate her birthday when the call comes in about the in bound bodies. Dedicated employee that she is, she cancels her party and stays to help out. As she's a good bud and state and federal laws be damned, Holden gets in touch with her friends and organizes a spur of the moment surprise party to be held in the morgue.

Meanwhile the definitely dead and won't be coming back any time soon Jacob is dropped off via ambulance and Amy and Seth wheel the corpse downstairs.

Once finished helping Seth knock out the bulk of the work, Amy heads upstairs to 'punch out' and is surprised by her over protective brother and her friends. 'Happy Birthday!', now let's get drunk. One of her friends, Tamara (Isabelle), turns out to be not only a serial killer devotee but freaky. Learning that the body of the killer Jacob is downstairs, Tamara and her boyfriend sneak off to pay the corpse a visit. Once in the presence of the corpse, Tamara's freak is all on leading to her and her boyfriend banging away mere feet away from of course he's dead Jacob.

Jacob doesn't take kindly to fornicators and shamblingly precedes to stalk everyone through the seemingly endless corridors and rooms of the morgue.

How's this for faint praise? It's a bit better than the original. Both films boil down to a group of youngsters being chased through one darkened corridor after another, not being able to exit the building while a seemingly unstoppable maniac snuffs them one by one. The Soska sisters do bring their own vision and touch to the slasher film genre. Amy is a spunky fighter unlike her hunky brother and at one point grabs a fire axe to aid in his rescue. Tamara is wonderfully played by an over the top Isabelle and her morgue scene would have raised me from the dead. There's a shocking twist on the final girl theme that caught me off guard and had me cursing the film makers for doing that to the character.

While I like what the Soska sisters brought to the film the frame is still a bog standard slasher.

**1/2 out of ****

See No Evil (2006)

Dir: Gregory Dark

Receiving calls from neighbours about a woman screaming, two police officers investigate an abandoned house. Finding the door open and hearing the screaming woman themselves, one cop questions if they should wait for back-up but officer Williams (Steven Vidler of the SALEM'S LOT remake) will have none of that nonsense. Entering the filthy, blood stained darkened house they perform a sweep and find a terrified  young woman, her eyes have been plucked out. Out of nowhere an axe wielding leviathan of a man appears, chopping to bits one officer and cutting off the arm of Williams. Gun arm intact Williams first off a shot thinking it a head shot but the brute makes his escape.

Four years later Williams, sporting a prosthetic arm, works as a correction officer. He's taking a co-ed group of juvenile delinquents (amazing how mature they all look) to the Blackwell Hotel. The hotel has been abandoned for decades after the owner Blackwell died in a fire on the penthouse floors. Margaret (Cecily Polson), is heading the renovation of the hotel to turn it into a homeless shelter. The delinquents, all of whom follow the slasher guide book of behavior for teens, have been offered a reduction of one month of their sentence for three days of clean up work. Little do they know that the  hulking brute Jacob Goodnight (WWE star Kane) has set up his slaughter house in the hotel and is on the look out for eyes to pluck.

Instead of condemning the film for its use of slasher film cliches, teens smoking dope and having sex, the unstoppable killer who appears out of nowhere, I'll praise the film for what it did right in a genre that suffocated itself long ago. Porn cum music video cum horror director Gregory Dark does a commendable job behind the camera on the Australian shot, set bound film. The camera flourishes he added were appreciated in what is just another low budget slasher. I don't know if this was Kane's or Dark's or writer Dan Madigan's idea but I did get a kick out of how when Jacob carried his prey back to his lair he unknowingly was slamming the body into a wall or doorway like a big dopey kid thoughtlessly swinging a rag doll around; a bit of shtick in an otherwise dry film. Without giving too much away, I liked how the jerk of the group turns out to be the one who saves the remaining would be victims (shades of John Russo's MIDNIGHT).

If this was still the 80's and I was still a teenager I'd be praising the film a lot more. But all in all SEE NO EVIL is the same scenario I've seen numerous times over the decades, just without the grain.

** out of ****

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Dir: Edmund Purdom

Dick Randall parties down

A killer is on the loose on the streets of London in the days leading up to Christmas. A psycho who targets those wearing Santa suits. By garrote, revolver, straight razor, shoe knife and broken bottle he brings bad cheer to any wearing the red coat with white cuffs. Kate Briosky (Belinda ALIEN 2: ON EARTH Mayne) is devastated when her father is murdered by the madman while he was wearing a Santa suit at a Christmas party. Her boyfriend Cliff (Gerry Sundquist), oblivious to her pain, tries to help her out by setting her up for a porn shoot for fifty quid. Kate storms out leaving Cliff with a female model and a photographer who has the brilliant idea of dressing up the model in a Santa suit and
taking saucy photos of her in public. A couple of coppers on patrol spot the curious goings on and Cliff and the model split the scene. Running through the streets trying to avoid getting nicked the model encounters the killer in a dark alley.

As he was known to be at two of the crime scenes, Cliff is under suspicion by Scotland Yard's Detective Sergeant Powell (Mark Jones) and Inspector Ian Harris (Edmund PIECES Purdom). Cad that he is, Kate does not think he is a killer and begins her own investigation as the police are no closer to catching her father's murderer.

Purdom, who had just worked with producer Dick Randall on PIECES and INVADERS OF THE LOST GOLD, agreed to star in DON'T if he could direct it. By all accounts he was a terrible director and as there wasn't enough footage to finish the film, Randall brought on board INVADERS director Alan Birkinshaw to re-shoot scenes and write and direct new scenes. As expected the film is disjointed and lacking in a logical narrative. Caroline Munroe puts in an appearance (as herself!) and sings a number as the masked killer stalks a Santa backstage of the theatre she is performing in. One scene, one day's worth of work and Munroe disappears from the film. Perhaps Randall knew Munroe wanted to promote her singing career and her appearance helped pad out the running time. The two would work again on the slasher SLAUGHTER HIGH.

The Randall exploitation staples are all on display, cheesy gore, T&A, and a premise that capitalises on the hot genre of the moment, the slasher film. I can't point to anything in DON'T that is done well, not the acting, the script nor the directing but the black humour, gore and impossible revelations kept me watching.

** out of ****

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)

Dir: Theodore Gershuny

Diane (Mary a slew of cult classics Woronov) Adams walks along the grounds of the Butler mansion as workers prepare to bulldoze it. She recalls the history of the house and the events she was caught up in due to the madness and thirst for revenge of others. Wilford Butler built the house and upon his return to it on Christmas Eve he is accidentally set on fire; he perishes from his injuries. The will leaves the house to his grand son Jeffrey (James CASTLE KEEP Patterson) with the stipulation that the house remains as it is. For twenty years the house has remained the same but rumours are spreading that the house is to be sold. Those rumours reach the ears of an inmate at a hospital for the criminally insane who makes his escape swinging a pipe wrench (a nicely shot POV sequence).

Jeffrey does plan to sell the estate and has hired lawyer John Carter (Patrick THE STUFF O'Neal). Carter, traveling with his 'assistant' Ingrid (Astrid CASTLE KEEP Heeren) travels to the small town and meets with the local council to sell them the house at a cut rate price. The council is comprised of Mayor Adams (Walter TALES OF TOMORROW Abel) who is the father of Diane, telephone operator Tess, Sheriff Bill Mason and Charlie Towman (the legendary John Carradine) who dislikes speaking and prefers to ring a bell to communicate. As the cash will not be available until the following day, Carter and Ingrid plan on spending the night at the Butler home.

Ding! The fries are done

They are not alone in the house. Someone else has taken up residence. As Carter and Ingrid get amorous, that someone crashes through the bed room door and gives them forty whacks with an axe. The carnage does not end there. The black gloved killer lures each member of the town council to the house in order to exact revenge.

Meanwhile Jeffrey shows up at the Mayor's house where Diane holds him at gunpoint until she confirms his identity. Jeffrey claims he went to the Butler home looking for the lawyer but as there was no response and the door locked he borrowed Carter's Jaguar and drove to the nearest house, the Mayor's, in search for help. Diane agrees to help and off to town they go. Jeffrey's actions, acting strange, running over one of the council members with the stolen car, grabbing one of Tess' caged birds as if he was going to squeeze the life out of it and generally looking like a crazed killer, make the viewer think he's a red herring but no one other than a crazed, black leather glove wearing killer would even do half the incriminating things he does.

Who is the killer and what secret does the town council conceal that imperils their lives?

Mary can hold my gun at any time

Director Theodore Gershuny was married to lead Woronov around the time of filming (I was unable to pinpoint the year but sources vary as to the year being from 1970 to 1972) and a number of Woronov's co-Warhol Superstars, such as Ondine and Candy Darling, have small roles. The appearance of the Superstars along with a bit of pre-slasher gore seemingly has propelled the now public domain film to cult status in some quarters. Admittedly the dark, scratchy print I viewed may have distracted from my appreciation of the film but the script as filmed is muddled, relies on a great deal of narration to explain the set up and, like the unstoppable killers of the slashers to come, does little to explain the teleporting killer who always is in the perfect spot to exact his grisly revenge.

*1/2 out of ****

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

Dir: Jonathan Levine

Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) blossomed over the summer and all the high schools boys have noticed. One of the 'cool kids', a jock, invites Mandy Lane to a pool party he is throwing. She agrees to go and brings along her best friend Emmet (Michael Welch) who is an outsider and seen as weird or creepy by the in clique. Later in the night, after Emmett is picked on by the jock, he manages to coerce the jock into jumping from the roof of the house into the in ground pool in order to impress the chaste yet sought after Mandy Lane. The jock's drunken stunt fails spectacularly with the jock smashing his head into the concrete.

The film picks up nine months later as Mandy Lane is now part of the cool kid clique and growing distant from her childhood friendship with Emmet. The pot head of the clique invites a number of the in crowd, including Mandy Lane, to his father's ranch for an alcohol soaked, drug fueled weekend where the males of the group vie to deflower Mandy Lane. Unbeknownst to them there is a deranged stalker also on the ranch who picks off the partying teens one by one.

Though the film was completed in 2006 it has had a scatter shot release history and finally arrived on DVD and Blu-ray in the U.S. in 2013. This is director Jonathan Levine's first film and he shows a solid hand when it comes to propelling the story (what little there is of it) forward and getting the actors to be where they need to be.The performances are good especially considering the low budget and youthfulness of the cast, and I liked the grainy cinematography. There are plenty of the expected false jump scares but I found it odd that the bloodthirsty killer is revealed early in the film. Perhaps it was set up that way to give greater impact to the 'big reveal'.

Overall the film is an above average slasher. Competently directed, acted and shot but other than Amber Heard there is little to make it stand out.

** 1/2 out of ****

American Nightmare (1983)

Dir: Don McBrearty

Pianist Eric (Lawrence Day) returns home after an absence of two years. He's been brought back due to a distressing letter from his sister Isabelle (Alexandra BAYWATCH Paul) asking for help. Unable to locate her he begins to investigate her disappearance and learns that her sordid world since leaving home at the age of sixteen involves stripping, prostitution and blackmail. When Isabelle's room mate Andrea (Claudia EDGE OF SANITY Udy) is found dead in the bath tub of their run down apartment, Eric and a second room mate Louise (Lora RISKY BUSINESS Staley) team up to find Isabelle. In their way of getting to the truth is a killer who likes to slash a straight razor across the throat of anyone who had anything to do with Isabelle.

Along the way we meet Detective Skyler (Michael Ironside) who is better at pointing the finger at red herrings than finding Isabelle, Fixer (Michael SCANNERS III Copeman) who was Isabelle's pimp, the wealthy Hamilton Blake (Tom SCANNERS II Harvey) who as father to Isabelle and Eric pushed both of them away and now runs the charity Uni Save, and Tony  (Neil THE INCUBUS Dainard) who is the host of the upcoming televised Uni Save 24 hour marathon pledge drive and Hamilton's right hand man. And there's lots of T&A. A good chunk of the film is spent at the strip club the room mates work at.

Every film should have a topless juggler

The Canadian AMERICAN NIGHTMARES has a copyright of 1981 but was not released until 1983. A gap of that length often is a warning sign that a film has issues that kept it from distribution shortly after completion but not so in this case. AMERICAN NIGHTMARES is a decent thriller augmented with lazy FX nods to the burgeoning slasher genre. The villain of the film is easy enough to work out especially considering the red herrings are only on film to be red herrings; i.e. the boyfriend of a stripper who is perpetually angry that his woman works at the strip club. The script is also predictable in that wealthy, cultivated Eric falls for Louise, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks; there's even a de rigueur 80's sex scene. But there's enough mystery in the two leads tracking down what happened to Isabelle that it kept my interest.

Location shots always grab my interest, especially ones of a big city from over thirty years ago, and I did get a kick out of seeing TRUCK TURNER on a theatre marquee as the two leads ran around downtown Toronto.

** out of ****