Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Dir: Edmund Purdom

Dick Randall parties down

A killer is on the loose on the streets of London in the days leading up to Christmas. A psycho who targets those wearing Santa suits. By garrote, revolver, straight razor, shoe knife and broken bottle he brings bad cheer to any wearing the red coat with white cuffs. Kate Briosky (Belinda ALIEN 2: ON EARTH Mayne) is devastated when her father is murdered by the madman while he was wearing a Santa suit at a Christmas party. Her boyfriend Cliff (Gerry Sundquist), oblivious to her pain, tries to help her out by setting her up for a porn shoot for fifty quid. Kate storms out leaving Cliff with a female model and a photographer who has the brilliant idea of dressing up the model in a Santa suit and
taking saucy photos of her in public. A couple of coppers on patrol spot the curious goings on and Cliff and the model split the scene. Running through the streets trying to avoid getting nicked the model encounters the killer in a dark alley.

As he was known to be at two of the crime scenes, Cliff is under suspicion by Scotland Yard's Detective Sergeant Powell (Mark Jones) and Inspector Ian Harris (Edmund PIECES Purdom). Cad that he is, Kate does not think he is a killer and begins her own investigation as the police are no closer to catching her father's murderer.

Purdom, who had just worked with producer Dick Randall on PIECES and INVADERS OF THE LOST GOLD, agreed to star in DON'T if he could direct it. By all accounts he was a terrible director and as there wasn't enough footage to finish the film, Randall brought on board INVADERS director Alan Birkinshaw to re-shoot scenes and write and direct new scenes. As expected the film is disjointed and lacking in a logical narrative. Caroline Munroe puts in an appearance (as herself!) and sings a number as the masked killer stalks a Santa backstage of the theatre she is performing in. One scene, one day's worth of work and Munroe disappears from the film. Perhaps Randall knew Munroe wanted to promote her singing career and her appearance helped pad out the running time. The two would work again on the slasher SLAUGHTER HIGH.

The Randall exploitation staples are all on display, cheesy gore, T&A, and a premise that capitalises on the hot genre of the moment, the slasher film. I can't point to anything in DON'T that is done well, not the acting, the script nor the directing but the black humour, gore and impossible revelations kept me watching.

** out of ****