Bridge to Nowhere (1986)

Dir: Ian Mune

I must admit that I thought I was getting a New Zealand take on the then popular American slasher sub-genre with a BRIDGE TO NOWHERE. The basic premise is five youths from the big city travel into the bush to drink, fornicate and camp who anger a local farmer. A plot that is familiar to anyone who watched a handful of slashers. A plot so familiar it has become prime parody material (JASON X and the scene where Jason is distracted by a virtual reality simulation of Camp Crystal Lake being one of the best in-jokes). I was wrong, BRIDGE TO NOWHERE is a bit different.

The youths, Leon (Phillip Gordon THE RETURNING) an arsehole obsessed with being an arsehole, his bird Tanya (Margaret Umbers DEATH WARMED OVER), Tanya's brother Carl (Matthew Hunter CHILDREN OF THE CORN II) who puts a damper on Leon's moves on Tanya, Julie (Shelly Luxford) and Gray (Stephen Judd) who is fond of Julie but hasn't worked up the courage to say it, hike into the bush to camp on the bridge to nowhere. The bridge in the film is a real bridge that once lead to a settlement in the Mangapurua Valley. The settlement was abandoned and the bush reclaimed the roads leading into it. The bridge now stands as a monument to what once was. Leon, have I said he's an arsehole? flirts with the wife of a farmer and pisses the farmer off in a way only an arsehole of Leon's magnitude could do. The farmer collects their kit leaving them with nothing; no food, no water, no shelter, and chases them through the bush.

Leon even dresses like a knob

This is not a slasher film. It's more of a thriller and psychological character study. The farmer, Mac (Bruno Lawrence THE QUIET EARTH), has his reasons for stalking the youths and driving them deeper into the bush. As the campers stumble around in the woods the viewer learns more about the relationship between Mac and his woman Lise (Alison Routledge THE QUIET EARTH). Mac isn't the backwoods killer we expect from such films but rather a man looking to protect his family. Even if that means causing harm to others. The drama did not work for me. Leon is a psycho and if this had been a slasher he'd be the killer who thinks he was wronged and now seeks revenge. The character is that dangerous and over the top. He's not the only one. There's another character, I will not say who, that kicks off the unfortunate series of events. That character is mentally ill, just like Leon, but I could not discern where the film makers were going with the character. I could not connect with the character either so I could not connect with the film.

Annoying characters aside, I did enjoy the scenery. As a camper I can appreciate the hiking trail through the bush and the lush vegetation. The beauty was evident even on the VHS copy of the film I watched. BRIDGE TO NOWHERE is not a film I can recommend even for those looking for nearly forgotten curiosities from the past.

** out of ****