Blood Car (2007)

Dir: Alex Orr

It's the future, gas prices are over $30 a gallon and few people drive.

It doesn't look blood car-ish to me

Elementary school teacher Archie (Mike Brune) rides a bicycle to school. He's the kind of vegan who wears a meat is murder t-shirt to work. In his spare time Archie is trying to develop a car that will run on wheat grass. Accidentally cutting his hand while working on the prototype engine, his blood is mixed in with the wheat grass and he is amazed at how well his motor of the future works with a bit of the red sauce. His next step is to tap a vein and convert his gasoline powered car to a blood powered car. Weak from providing fuel from his own body, he graduates to small animals and then humans.

Meat shack on the left

Archie's fall from wheat grass drinkin', tofu eating, upstanding citizen to murder crazed blood car driving bastard is propelled by Denise (Katie Rowlett, wife of director Alex Orr) who gets a hard on anytime a man with motorized wheels stops by her meat shack. Meat shack isn't a euphemism. She sells meat from a wooden shack in what appears to be a state park. Across from her shack is a veggie stand run by good girl Lorraine (Anna Chlumsky HANNIBAL) who has the hots for Archie. Denise will bang Archie's brains out as long as he has a car.

Meanwhile, the government has found out about Archie's invention and would like to know more about the blood car.

BLOOD CAR, a micro-budget horror / comedy short on both horror and comedy, is a message film. I'm not certain what that message is, unless it was telling me to go out and find a hot girlfriend to have kinky sex with. The film makers poke fun at vegans, crass consumerists, the government and our car dependant culture but I found the message to be muddled, the jokes flat and the premise thin.

*1/2 out of ****