Abominable (2020)

Abominable (2020)
Director: Jamaal Burden
Writer: Joseph Daniel Ellis

A doctor leads a rescue team comprised of techies and rangers? soldiers? mercenaries? to a remote outpost. Finding the outpost abandoned they investigate what happened to the researchers and pick up the quest to find a medical grail called the 'Yeti plant'. But guess what just happens to be protecting a plant called 'Yeti'? That's right, a Yeti, or Abominable Snowman if you prefer.

This Yeti is not you average Yeti. Or maybe he is as we see only the one creature in the film so we can't judge his mental acuity to any other Yetis. But he is smart. And based on the way he stalks his prey, he's seen a few of the FRIDAY THE 13TH films and is a fan of Jason. First you sense the presence of danger, maybe catch a fleeting glimpse of his winter fur. You run in the opposite direction, trip over a tree branch or an untied shoe lace, fall onto the snow and suddenly the Yeti is pouncing on you, its claws raking across your chest. Or you run until out of breath and seek shelter behind a tree only to discover to your horror that the Yeti has seemingly teleported to the very same tree and commences gutting you like a fish. This Yeti knows all the classic Jason moves.

Meanwhile the humans act like the brain dead characters in any other slasher film. They wander around the woods firing their weapons blindly. They split up to make it that much easier for the Yeti to take them out. Argue with one another. Betray one another. A few of them are fascinated by the snow on the ground and study it.

The scrip is a mess, if that wasn't obvious with the run time padding of characters walking in the woods incessantly. If a character is yelling for help repeatedly then brushes off an offer of help that comes over the radio a moment later, the screen writer should have caught that. That and the many other obvious mistakes such as the mercenary told to take point but instead walks around in the woods by himself. Or someone asking for the schematic of a mountain. Schematic?

Someone on the music team must have provided a lot of funding for this project. The music is cranked up to 11 whenever anything remotely dramatic occurs onscreen. They really get their money's worth showcasing their music.

There is one highlight of the film and that is Joe Castro's gore effects. They are few and far between but he delivers the gory goods on a couple of occasions., Keep your finger on the play button while fast forwarding so as not to miss the money shots.

The end credits, which contain numerous spelling mistakes, promise a sequel, THE MUMMY REVENGE.

Ugh.

* out of ****